


Tuesday Evening

by MessintoMessages



Series: to which I love you because you were all there ever was [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Time Skips, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 13:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17602028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessintoMessages/pseuds/MessintoMessages
Summary: Donghyuck felt safe in his fairy tale.But something about Mark Lee made him consider taking a step into reality.***Donghyuck works at a small bookstore, barely kept alive in the days of new technology and amazon, his mind always a step away, lost in the elaborate universes of books.Mark is a weekly regular. Sometimes buying a new book, sometimes donating books himself, and somedays neither. Whichever it was, he would always be there. Until he wasn’t.





	Tuesday Evening

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a 3k word fic, rip.

Arlo’s Books sat in a small corner shop on the south end of downtown. Once one of the most popular shops in town, now run down and barely, well… running. The once colorful façade of the building now left with paint chipping away and a busted sign. But they were still open. God only knows how.

The owner, Mr. Arlo Kim, was as old as the building itself, yet he still woke up every morning to unlock the door and switch the open sign around.

But that was about all he did these days. To him, keeping the doors open until the day he died was enough.

The one who actually ran the store was a young boy by the name of Lee Donghyuck or Haechan to the right people. Throughout high school, he worked at the shop every day after school as well as on the weekends to save up to go to college.

But the pay wasn’t great working part-time at the local run-down bookstore. That in combination with not quite getting the grades to be able to receive a scholarship left him with no choice but to take a gap year. Or rather gap _years_ as he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to go.

Once Donghyuck started working full time at Arlo’s, Mr. Kim stopped showing up to work. Nonverbally trusting him to run the shop himself. Mr. Kim had hardly been there when he had worked there during high school, but he still saw him occasionally in his back office, running numbers most likely. Now the only time Donghyuck saw him was if he got a glimpse of him walking away after unlocking the doors in the morning. Funny thing though, he had given Donghyuck a key.

***

It was a good day for the shop if they had one customer. So, to say the very least Donghyuck had a lot of free time during work.

So, he read.

He had always been a big reader growing up, so when it was time to find a job, he couldn’t think of a better place for himself. Quiet, easy, and filled with reading material to last him a lifetime.

Growing up in a small town, where everyone knew everyone, was not a place where Donghyuck fit in. With parents away working almost all the time, no siblings, and very little friends, he found himself relying on books. They became many things for Donghyuck, his safety blanket, his friend, his teacher, but most importantly his escape.  

It’s not that he had a bad upbringing, just a very lonely one. He never quite fit in at school, and rather than stick out he tried his best to blend in. For those that did know of him he earned himself the nickname Ghost Boy, even if he was physically there, people wouldn’t notice or even simply forget.

This led to many late nights, up reading whatever novel he was on that day. And this only worsened when he started to work at Arlo’s.

The public library was a 20-minute car ride away. So, he didn’t get there very often with his parents gone most of the time. And even when he did have the opportunity to go, he only was able to check out 5 books at a time, which didn’t last him too long.

Thus, he was stuck reading whatever his school library had to offer. Which, to say the least, was extremely underwhelming. Donghyuck had practically read all the fiction books (or the ones that had interested him at least) they had by the time he was in the 6th grade.

Arlo’s wasn’t the biggest bookshop that ever existed, but that didn’t mean they did not have almost any book you could ever dream about reading. Being around for as long as they had been, one could say a collection had been started. Books seemed to ooze out of the place, honestly. If you didn’t know better you would think there was no organization to the place, books practically thrown everywhere. But Arlo would never allow that. There was in fact order to the chaos.

The first day that Donghyuck ever walked into the shop he was certain he had never seen that many books in his life. Most of them well used, some even tattered at the seams, yet still so beautiful in his eyes. He’d wished that he had all the money in the world to be able to buy as many of the books in that shop as he liked. But alas, his father only said one.

Five years later Donghyuck walked into the shop for a different reason, to get a job. He practically begged the old man to let him work there in the evenings after school. Finally, old Arlo sighed and asked him why he wanted the job so badly.

"I just want to read, sir," was how Donghyuck responded, head hung, eyes fixed on the ground, ashamed he couldn’t give a better answer.

Arlo huffed, only responding after what had felt like an eternity, "Fine. But you better never be late."

Donghyuck didn’t need for him to elaborate, and he frankly was too scared to ask for any further instruction. "Thank you, Mr. Kim! I won’t let you down!"

***

The first time Donghyuck saw him was on his third evening working at Arlo’s. If this were any other shop in any other town, the boy would have most likely have gone unnoticed. He didn’t say much, not even greeting Donghyuck back after welcoming him in. And he did not stay long, simply walking towards the back of the shop, looking around shortly, then leaving. It was not strange for the people who visited the shop not to buy anything, and most people in town were not the friendliest. What was strange was that he had to have been around Donghyuck’s age, yet he had never seen the boy in his entire life. Which says a lot being that his entire high school had less than 300 people enrolled. That only left one explanation. He was new to the town. Donghyuck was sure that in his 15 years of life he had not known one new family, nor person for that matter, move to the small town. Of course, people left, while still not very common, much more so than a newcomer.

Thus, he made a mental note to look out for the boy when he returned to school the next day. Curiosity overwhelming him, he even asked a few of his classmates. But no one had seemed to have heard of anyone new coming to the town. A few stating that if that had happened people for sure would be talking, yet no one seemed to know of the strange boy who visited Arlo’s the night before.

Donghyuck wondered if he would see him again that afternoon on his walk to the bookstore. Yet he did not. Nor did he see him the evening after, or even the evening after that. Seven whole days passed before he had the opportunity to cross paths with the mysterious young boy once again.

***

After the week had ended Donghyuck pretty much gave up on waiting around for the boy, hoping he would show back up in the shop. He was seriously starting to convince himself that he must have seen a ghost or apparition. In all honesty, he had been reading a ghost story that day, and the boy did not respond to him when he spoke, so it all lined up to an extent.

Donghyuck sighed. Was he really so lonely that his mind had made up some person to walk into the shop?

And that is what he continued to believe until he looked up from his book, hearing the bell over the door ring. It had been exactly seven days since Donghyuck had first seen the boy, and there he was again. Yet this time he walked straight up to the counter Donghyuck was sitting behind, setting five neatly stacked books in front of him.

This time around Donghyuck had gotten a good look at the boy’s face, and with all certainty, he could guarantee that he was in fact not a ghost nor anything that he had conjured up in his head. He was definitely real. And strikingly handsome at that.

He wasn’t the kind of handsome that Donghyuck had seen in movies or read of in his books, frankly he had seen no one like him in his life. In person nor anywhere else. He had strikingly sharp cheekbones and tired eyes, yet they held some brilliance to them hiding behind the glasses loosely perched on his nose. His hair was short, unlike Donghyuck’s, and it was jet black almost as if he had died it because he was sure that no one’s hair could ever be a shade as dark as his. The bags under his eye told a story of sleepless nights, and lines etched into his forehead gave away to a tale of stressful times.

"Can I trade these in for store credit?"

His words quickly snapped Donghyuck out of the trance he had fallen into, quickly nodding before giving the books a once over.

He handed the boy a small slip once he was done. For every five used books turned in, one would receive a slip they could use to purchase any one book in the shop. And the boy had brought in exactly five.

Donghyuck had assumed that he would go and pick out a book to purchase right then and there. But the boy just walked straight out of the shop, slip in hand.

After he could no longer see the boy walking away, Donghyuck let out the breath he had seemed to have held ever since the boy had walked into the shop. The first feeling he came to was confusion. Who the hell was this mysterious boy? There was no denying the fact he had to have been 16, possibly 17, but definitely not older than that. That means he had to have gone to his school if he lived in town. Which Donghyuck could almost guarantee, as he had watched to see if he would have gotten into a car, possibly just visiting from another town. But no, he had just walked out and kept walking, for a far as Donghyuck could see him go. And on top of that, why didn’t he get a book?

Donghyuck took down a mental note to ask Mr. Kim tomorrow if he knew the boy, as he had already left for the day.

When he knocked on his office door the next day he was greeted with a grunt, not really starting the conversation off on a great foot.

"What do you want kid?" He didn’t even look up from his desk, continuing to scribble something down on the pieces of paper in front of him.

"I was just wondering if… um, the boy who came in on Tuesday? Do you know about him?" Donghyuck couldn’t stop fidgeting, this officially was his 3rd conversation with Mr. Kim, ever. The first one being when he asked for the job and the second on the first day of work when he told him what his responsibilities were. So, to put it lightly, Donghyuck was nervous, and maybe just a bit more than a little intimidated.

Mr. Kim took off his glasses and set them down next to him on the desk, finally looking up at the boy in front of him.

"I stopped paying attention to the people who walk into this place when people stopped coming in. This town betrayed me kid, why do you think I would care enough to know the people who walk in here now." He then proceeded to place the glasses back on his nose and go back to whatever it was that was so obviously miserable to do.

Donghyuck did not agree with that mentality but for his own safety and wellbeing decided not to comment on that.

"Plus, if I remember correctly, I wasn’t even here that late on Tuesday, why on god’s earth would you expect me to magically know who the hell you are talking about." He did look back up at Donghyuck to say, or rather spit, those words out. But Donghyuck really wished he had not. It was quite frightening honestly, the looked he gave him.

"Oh... I just… He was here last Tuesday too, so I just thought-" Donghyuck started, slowly stepping out of Mr. Kim’s office.

"You thought what exactly? If you don’t have anything important to say I would suggest you get the hell out of my office." Mr. Kim wasn’t yelling, but his voice was so loud enough to Donghyuck that he might well have had been.

After that day Donghyuck had vowed to never speak to that man again unless completely necessary.

***

The second feeling crept on a bit slower but undoubtedly started that very day the boy had brought in those five books.

Whether it had been solely curiosity at first, Donghyuck could not stop thinking of the boy with the jet-black hair. Whenever he didn’t have his nose in a book, he was all Donghyuck would think about.

He had figured out that he visited every Tuesday, about an hour before they closed for the day. Sometimes he would just come in to look for a few minutes and then leave. Or he would bring in more books to trade in. But the most confusing thing he did was that sometimes he would actually buy books. Which made no sense to Donghyuck, because he paid for every single one of them. He definitely had a more than a few of the free book slips, but he never once used them.

One day, worried that maybe the boy might have just forgotten about the slips, Donghyuck decided to remind him.

That week he didn’t have any books to turn in, which was slightly irritating because it made it harder for Donghyuck to bring it up. His nerves racked around the whole time the boy was in the shop, trying to find a perfect moment to bring it up. He hoped it would be one of the days that he bought a book so he could ask him then.

But it, unfortunately, was not.

"You know when you turn in five books, you get to get a book for free. Those slips I always give you, you can use them to get the free book," Donghyuck quickly yelled over to him just as he was about to leave.

The boy stopped, looking back at Donghyuck.

"I know."

And with that, he left. Leaving Donghyuck even more confused than he already was.

***

Donghyuck looked forward to every Tuesday. It had been almost a year since he had started working at Arlo’s and the boy never missed a Tuesday.

After some time Donghyuck figured out there was a pattern to his visits. He would come in and look over the books and leave not getting or giving anything. Then the very next week he would give five books and receive a free book slip. And on the next he would purchase exactly five. Every three weeks, the same thing.

It made some sense, yet it still confused Donghyuck. If he was reading five books every three weeks wouldn’t he just stop by once every three weeks? Instead of spreading out his weird routine over time, getting it all done in one visit seemed to make a lot more sense. Yet Donghyuck never brought it up to him.

Donghyuck could count on one hand how many times he had spoken to the boy. He didn’t even know his name.

***

"I’m Mark by the way."

It was almost exactly a year since Donghyuck had first seen the mysterious boy that visited every Tuesday Evening, the boy that had somehow found himself the sole individual constantly on Donghyuck’s mind.

It was the beginning of the summer right after Donghyuck’s 16th birthday, and right before school let out for the summer. The weather had just officially been deemed ‘warm’ and spring had all but gone, welcoming in the endless hazy summer. It had rained the day before the last, and the humidity hung in the air, for which he worried about the books. Donghyuck couldn’t remember if he had ever experienced air conditioning in Arlo’s, which made very little sense for a bookstore and probably was the reason why a smell of musk always lingered.

He had the door propped open, letting a nice breeze move through the shop. Because the door was open Donghyuck sat engrossed in his book, not even noticing someone had walked in.

He looked up from his book to see the Tuesday boy in front of him. Had he said anything, Donghyuck wasn’t too sure as he was lost wrapped up in the story from the book currently resting in his hands. A few seconds of the boy silently starring at him clued Donghyuck into the fact that he may have missed something.

"Huh?" He had wished he had said something else, but unfortunately, that was the only thing that escaped his lips.

"My name is Mark… By the way. I just thought-" He paused as if contemplating exactly what to say next, eyes wandering somewhere behind Donghyuck. "I just thought since I am here every week that I would let you know." His words fizzled out toward the end of the sentence, clearly losing confidence in his excuse. "I hadn’t introduced myself yet and it’s been a while since you started working…" Mark was almost whispering at this point, eyes still focused anywhere but Donghyuck’s face.

Donghyuck was taken aback to say the very least. The boy, Mark, had always seemed so curt, so serious. Yet the Mark he saw in front of him was awkward and nervous, and so very adorable. He could feel the blush creeping up his neck as soon as Mark had started talking, and he was sure by now his face was as red as a tomato. All he wanted to do was hide, at the very least behind his hands. But the boy of his affections for the last _year_ was finally introducing himself and Donghyuck decided this may be the best day of his life. Finally, he has a name.

"I’m Donghyuck." There was definitely an awkwardly long time between when Mark had stopped talking and Donghyuck had started, in which Donghyuck was recovering from a light shock.

Mark smiled and handed him the books he had brought in this week. Yet again Donghyuck handed him the slip for a free book, knowing he would never use it.

"Okay well… I’ll see you next week." And with that, just like the breeze that day, Mark had come and gone.

***

After that day Donghyuck found himself speaking to Mark more often. It started as simple gestures of ‘how are you?’ or ‘how was your week?’ but as time went on a friendship bloomed between the two. It wasn’t exactly what most people would define a friendship as, but it worked for them. They never saw each other outside the bookshop, but the time Mark spent there became longer and longer.

Donghyuck spent his week with his nose in a book like he did every week, but with every passing Tuesday, he wished for the next one to come sooner.

Mark was different than anyone Donghyuck had ever met in the town. He was careful and considerate, and so incredibly smart. He also found out that Mark wasn’t as uptight as he had first come off. He was just shy and wasn’t very great in social situations, which Donghyuck could more than relate to. He had found out that Mark had moved to the small town when he was quite young, and he lived with his grandmother who homeschooled him.

Donghyuck was finally getting the opportunity to understand the mystery boy, and at first, he worried the novelty would wear off once he had all of his questions answered. And yet, somehow with every answer Mark gave him, Donghyuck found himself wanting to know more.

Something about the ways Mark spoke made Donghyuck feel as though he was reading a novel, every story, even insignificant, drew him in, desperate to know what happens next. His curiosity sometimes got the best of him, however.

"So, if you live with your grandmother where are your parents?" Donghyuck found himself asking one wintery day, close to Christmas. He had made coffee for both of them with the little coffee machine Mr. Kim kept in the back, one of his favorite treasures on cold days like this one. "Do they just travel a lot? My parents are almost always gone for work, so I’m left alone most of the time."

They were sat across from each other, Donghyuck behind the counter as he always was, and Mark in front on a stool Donghyuck would get out just for him when he visited.

Mark got very quiet and sat his coffee down on the counter before standing up. "Thanks for the hot coffee Donghyuck but I should be going before it gets too dark out." The words almost spilled out of his mouth, obviously flustered he quickly grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door.

Donghyuck shot out of his seat as if startled, face quickly reddening as it had occurred to him, he might have said something wrong. "I’m so sorry Mark! I didn’t mean to say anything to upset you! You haven’t even picked out your books yet, please don’t go." But his pleading was far too late as Mark had already walked out the door.

***

In the span of a week, Donghyuck had practically convinced himself he had lost his only friend ever because of his dumb mouth. He was so miserable, guilt overwhelming him, he had barely picked up a book that entire week. But things only got worse from there.

It was 20 minutes before they closed on Tuesday and Mark had yet to walk into the shop. And Donghyuck was exactly 20 minutes away from having a panic attack. He eyes consistently flickered from his watch to the door, praying that the black haired boy would walk through at any second.

But he did not.

Donghyuck had been working at Arlo’s for a year and a half and every Tuesday evening Mark had come in, this being the very first time he didn’t. And it was all Donghyuck’s fault.

***

The next few days passed in a blur. Every day he would wait and see if Mark would come in, even though he knew he wouldn’t. Mark never came in any other day than Tuesday.

With every passing day, Donghyuck’s worry rose. Did he really just push away the only friend he ever had? Negative thoughts overflowed his mind, and even books couldn’t save him this time. He was used to being ignored. But never once had he gained someone’s attention and then lost it like this.

Part of him expected Mark to eventually leave. It was obviously too good to be true. It was only a matter of time before he messed something up.

He barely slept Monday night. He wasn’t sure if he could stand another Tuesday without Mark. He tried to prepare himself to be let down, for Mark not to show up, but he couldn’t help but get his hopes up.

A fog was held over him the entire day. The lack of sleep led to him not having the energy to feel overwhelmed, but that’s not to say the anxiety wasn’t there.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the stop window before he walked in that afternoon, and to say he looked worse for wear was an understatement. Even through the dull reflection, he could see how dark the bags around his eyes looked and how sorrowful he held himself.

For a moment a thought had crossed his mind. Was he overreacting? Maybe Mark just couldn’t make it that week, maybe something came up. Maybe it hadn’t been about anything he had said after all. And even if it was his fault, why is he reacting so severely. Yes, he has every reason to be upset but is this all too much?

He quickly cleared the thoughts out of his head. Regardless of the ‘why’ Donghyuck felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and that would remain a fact.

The afternoon passed quietly, the sun already set. For as peaceful as his surroundings presented themselves, chaos was raging on inside of the small boy who ran the bookshop. He hardly could sit still, organizing and reorganizing different displays, dusting over almost all of the bookshelves, and he even took it on himself to whip out the vacuum which was his least favorite activities.

And even then he found himself, eyes glued to the door five minutes until close, holding out hope that maybe _just_ maybe Mark would walk through them.

He heard the clock strike 7 and let his head hit the countertop in front of him, letting out a long sigh as his shoulders drooped. Tears prickled his eyes, and he almost let them fall until he heard the bell over the door chime.

And there he was.

Clearly out of breath, but he was there.

"Sorry I didn’t come sooner… I can, um, leave if you’re getting ready to close up." Mark had still barely taken a step in the door, an unreadable emotion lingering in his eyes. He clasped his hands together, waiting for the boy behind the counter to reply.

"No. It’s okay," Donghyuck breathed out. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Mark came.

Donghyuck watched as he walked through the aisle, quickly glancing at the books around him. Swiftly grabbing the first 5 books that caught his attention.

"I hope these ones will be good since I didn’t stop by last week to do some research…" Mark spoke barely above a whisper. A light laugh gave away how nervous he was.

"I- I’m really sorry. For what I asked… a few weeks ago." It was hard to look at Mark, he felt awful for potentially crossing the line, and yet he couldn’t take his eyes off the boy, afraid he would disappear if he looked away.

It took a second for Mark to respond. He set down the books on the counter, and Donghyuck, assuming he didn’t have anything to say, started ringing them up without a word between the two. After he was all done and Mark had paid, he finally spoke up.

"They died. More than a few years ago. But it still hurts to talk about. And well… if I am being completely honest, I haven’t really ever talked to anyone about it. My grandmother is bedridden, so I don’t leave her side very often. I don’t really have anyone to talk about anything to…" Mark’s eyes met the younger’s. There was sadness in them, yet still a spark of something… more. Something that made Donghyuck wonder how he could have ever thought Mark would disappear from his life. "So that’s why I kind of panicked when you brought them up. So, you shouldn’t be the one who has to apologize. I’m really sorry Hyuck."

He was surprised at the nickname but decided to keep it to himself. Instead, Donghyuck gave him a sad smile and reached out for his hand he had resting on the countertop.

"I won’t ever push you, but you’re welcome to talk to me."

Interlacing their fingers Mark responded only with a soft smile, and maybe, just maybe, Donghyuck saw that spark get a little brighter.

***

After that day, the seasons seemed to move a little quicker. By the time Donghyuck knew it, he was entering his senior year in high school.

Mark and he had slowly gotten more conformable with each other. It took a while for both of them to fully open up to each other, as this sort of thing wasn’t one that happened to either of them quite often. Their trust for each other had to be grown over time, and there would always be things that were difficult to talk about.

Donghyuck had stopped asking Mark too many questions about himself, opting to let Mark tell him things when he was ready. After the incident, he never quite got rid of the anxiety of possibly losing Mark over something as easy as that to avoid. And while he knew deep down that Mark was there to stay, he still worried.

Technically, Mark was supposed to be going to college this fall. But he said it wasn’t for him, plus he needed to stay home and take care of his grandmother, as there was no one else that could do so. It broke Donghyuck’s heart a little hearing that Mark wasn’t going to college, as it was Donghyuck’s biggest dream. To get to leave the small town, to start a new life, all the while studying something he loved, how could he not be upset that Mark couldn’t go.

And yet, he was glad. Because honestly, how would he go back to living his life the way it had been before he met Mark. He felt completely alone in this world, only surrounded by the characters in his books. And then there he was. Mark Lee. The only person who he would ever choose over reading.

"Are you starting to apply for colleges?" Mark had asked him one afternoon before he left the shop.

"Yeah! I won’t be able to get into any prestigious university, so I’ll be applying for ones not too far away, so you don’t have to worry, I’m not moving across the country," Donghyuck smiled warmly, only half teasing Mark.

Mark didn’t respond, instead, giving his friend a clearly forced smile, that made Donghyuck think he might be more upset about the idea of Donghyuck leaving than he let on. Mark wasn’t great at _feelings_ , so it was usually a guessing game for Donghyuck. But at the end of it, all he knew was that Mark didn’t look at him the way he wanted him to, but it was okay.

Except there had been a hitch in his plan, and maybe Mark wouldn’t have to be upset with Donghyuck leaving after all. Because he wasn’t.

Donghyuck knew there wasn’t any money for him to go to college, and what he had been saving had barely been enough to pay for a year. He just was in extreme denial about the whole situation. The only thing he could see himself doing after high school was going on to college, and even the idea that anything else would happen scared the living hell out of him. He had been stuck all alone in this little town his whole life, he couldn’t be here any longer.

And, other than books, that’s all he ever talked about. Leaving.

He wanted Mark to come with him. That was the only thing that made him want to stay. He would never tell Mark about this though, partially because Donghyuck knew he couldn’t leave, and partially because he couldn’t bring himself to say things like that to Mark, afraid that if he came off too strong Mark would run away again.

His plan to keep Mark in the dark about not having the money to afford college didn’t last very long. Especially when Mark kept asking him about where he applied or if he had heard back about admissions.

It was early April when Mark asked. The day had been stormy, practically raining all day. There still was a slight chill to the air. By the time Donghyuck had made it to the bookstore that afternoon he was very much soaked and freezing. He quickly made a hot tea and waited for Mark to come, picking out a new book to read to pass the time.

"Hyuck, why are you lying to me about going to college?"

"Huh?!" His eyes shot up from the book he was reading, not even realizing that Mark had come in. He was earlier than usual. Donghyuck couldn’t hide the fact that he looked extremely surprised, and guilty. He hated keeping things from Mark, every time he lied to him piling up his guilt even further. So, now that Mark was here in front of him, already knowing he had been lying, there was no way Donghyuck could continue the lie.

"I’m sorry Mark, it’s just…" He took a moment to figure out exactly what he wanted to tell Mark, his eyes traveling back town toward his book. Truthfully, he had no reason to lie to Mark at all, yet he did and now he had to explain why. "I always wanted to go to college so bad, growing up it really seemed like the only way to get out of this town. I never fit in here, but I had confidence that if I leave, I would find people who I would be able to fit in with. I’ve known for quite a while that it would never happen for me though…" Donghyuck took a breath and finally looked back up at Mark. His expression was unreadable, so he continued, "We never had that kind of money, my parents constantly working just to be able to put food on the table, so being able to go to college was never something I realistically thought I would be able to do. And yet…" Donghyuck sighed, his throat tightening not letting any more words squeeze through. The weight of reality settling in his chest on top of the guilt he felt for lying to Mark.

"You lied because if you told the truth you would have to recognize the fact that your dream would never come true," Mark’s tone was soft, forgiving as if it finally all clicked for him.

"Yeah…" His eyes hadn’t left Mark, but he was tempted to look away as tears were beginning to form.

The next thing Donghyuck knew arms were engulfing him in a hug. "You have me, Hyuckie. You have me." Mark’s hand found its way into the ends of Donghyuck’s hair along his nape. Mark pulled him closer as he started to shake, hot tears running down his face. The warmth radiating off Mark was a comfort only leading to more tears for Donghyuck. And Mark kept repeating those words in a whisper as Donghyuck continued to cry.

***

Donghyuck’s birthday that year had coincidentally landed on Tuesday, and he was excited, to say the least. That meant he would be able to spend a portion of his birthday with Mark. Just like clockwork he arrived, found the books he had looked over the weeks before and proceeded to buy them. Then, as they had been doing for the past two years, he stayed around with Donghyuck until he had to close up.

"Are you doing anything after this?"

Donghyuck was more than surprised at Mark’s question. Never once they had spent time together outside of the bookshop, and all of a sudden Mark was possibly asking him to do just that. Even after everything that had happened between them, Mark was never able to spend time with him outside the time spent at the shop on Tuesday evenings. Donghyuck had tried not to let that fact lead him to be insecure about their friendship, but he wasn’t sure he was successful. He was so taken aback he couldn’t even come up with a response quick enough before Mark was speaking again.

"I was just thinking… since it’s your birthday and all, maybe we could go on a little walk after you get off." Mark was fidgeting as if he was nervous about this whole ordeal, which in turn made Donghyuck even more nervous.

"You remembered my birthday?" was what decided to come out of Donghyuck’s mouth mid panic attack.

"Yeah, of course." It was like Mark was almost offended at the notion that Donghyuck would think he would forget. "But I mean… we don’t have to if you don’t want to, or can’t, or whatever." Mark went back to fidgeting after shortly being distracted by Donghyuck’s apparently ridiculous question.  

"No! I want to!" Donghyuck practically shouted, scared that Mark would take back the offer. He watched Mark jump at the sudden outburst and instantly regretted even opening his mouth as he could feel the heat rising in his face.

"Okay. Good." The little smile that grew on Mark’s face made Donghyuck feel a little better. "Is it okay if I stay here until then?"

"Yeah, that’s fine!" The awkward laugh that followed did nothing to ease Donghyuck’s embarrassment.

The time spent until closing was filled with small talk about their past week, or what books they had been reading recently. By the time Donghyuck locked the door to Arlo’s he felt on the verge of passing out he was so nervous. He finally was getting the opportunity to really spend time with Mark, and he was terrified of messing it up.

"All ready?" Mark asked, and Donghyuck gave him an enthusiastic nod before quickly following Mark.

"So, uh, where are we walking to?" Donghyuck asked unsure of how exactly to act around him all of a sudden.

"I was thinking I could buy you some ice cream… and then we could figure it out from there? Or if you wanted to just go home after, I could walk you home."

Donghyuck smiled, a light blush settling over his cheeks. "Ice cream sounds amazing. Then maybe we could go to the lake! I brought a book with me so we could… we could maybe read together?" It had always been hard to read Mark, so he was quite unsure what exactly he had wanted to do afterward. However, Donghyuck had been pretty excited about his idea to go read by the lake, but when he saw Mark’s reaction, he wasn’t so sure anymore. "Or not. Whatever’s fine!" He quickly added, not wanted to feel like he was forcing Mark to do something he didn’t want to just because it was his birthday.

"No, that sounds like a great idea," Mark finally responded. "But… maybe we could just talk instead?"

Oh. Donghyuck did not expect that. It’s not like they had never _talked_ before, they actually did quite a lot. It was just that they both had made it very clear to each other that they preferred reading. Not over each other per se, just that their favorite time spent together was when they were both silently reading a novel in the presence of one another. Doing something they both loved, together. So, Mark choosing conversating over reading surprised him. But he guessed it shouldn’t have, because everything that Mark had done that day had been quite surprising.

The sun had yet to set, as it wasn’t that late into the evening yet, but golden light filtered across the lake upon their arrival.

"This is my favorite place to come in the summers, especially around this time of day. Everything just seems so beautiful and calm," Donghyuck glanced over to Mark who gave him a small nod in response. He was clearly mesmerized by the sight. It made Donghyuck quietly giggle.

They found a nice patch of grass to sit down on while they finished their ice cream. The normally comfortable silence between the two of them became awkward for Donghyuck, now feeling pressured by Mark insisting they should talk. Finally, after they both had finished eating, Mark sighed, eyes still far away, looking out onto the lake. "So, when you do go to college, what do you want to study?"

Donghyuck laughed, but even to his ears, he could hear the hurt that lay behind it. "I think we already had the conversation where I told you that university was kind of not an option for me…"

Mark glanced over at him, and he was surprised to see he looked mad. Panic bubbled up in Donghyuck’s chest, in fear that he had said something wrong. "Hyuck, please don’t say things like that. You deserve so much more than this shitty town and that bookstore can offer you. I just don’t want you to give up. You never know how things will end up turning out." It looked like Mark wanted to continue, but he caught Donghyuck’s eyes.

He really didn’t know how to feel. He was touched that Mark had said those things, but he knew for a fact that he had no future outside the town. Having Mark tell him he deserved better burned. He knew he deserved better too, but reality was rarely fair.

After a pause, Mark looked back towards the lake. "I’m sorry if I upset you… It’s just- could you just humor me?" Mark sounded exasperated like some great importance lay in Donghyuck’s answer.

Donghyuck composed himself. He knew it was unfair to take his feelings out on Mark. "I want to be a literature teacher. Maybe a professor? But I think I would prefer to work in a high school. I just want to help others understand the joy of reading, and how powerful it can be. Book’s have saved my life, I don’t know how I would continue on without them, and I want to be able to share that feeling with others. I don’t know… that might sound dumb."

"Oh Hyuck that is the opposite of dumb. That’s really beautiful actually, I think you would make a great teacher." Mark reached over to carefully thread his fingers through Donghyuck’s. "Please don’t give up on that dream Hyuckie." Mark’s gaze was unwavering, and Donghyuck could feel tears pricking at his eyes from the emotion behind Mark’s words.

Before he could let himself cry, he asked Mark was his dream was.

"I want to write a book. My reasons are slightly similar to yours in the sense that I feel the need to give the gift of reading to others, but also because I feel like I have a story to tell. Honestly, whether or not people think it’s interesting doesn’t concern me. I mean, of course, I want people to like it," he paused to let out a chuckle. "But I mostly feel like words are burning inside of me begging to come out."  

Mark watched Donghyuck’s eyes light up. "You have to write Mark! You would be an amazing writer I just know it!"

Mark just shrugged, "I don’t know… It probably won’t even happen."

"What! How can you sit there and tell me that I need to follow my dreams when they are almost physically impossible, and then say that you aren’t even going to follow your own!" Donghyuck lightly hit Mark’s arm. "You’re sounding a lot like a hypocrite right now Mark Lee.'

Mark chuckled, "It’s not necessarily the writ _ing_ part it’s the writ _er_. I have no doubt that I won’t write, it’s more about actually publishing my work, putting myself out there completely for the world to see and judge. All my life I’ve been invisible, and then all of a sudden people will know about me. I don’t know… I just don’t know how comfortable I am with that."

Being invisible was something that Donghyuck could relate to, so he could understand where Mark was coming from. "You could always use a pseudonym?"

"That’s true, but it still doesn’t alleviate the fact that it’s _my_ work that people will be criticizing and judging."

"Or loving," Donghyuck quickly added. "You’re more than welcome to live your life how you choose, but I just think you would be doing the world a slight disservice for not even trying at all." He tried his best to give Mark his most reassuring smile. Donghyuck knew he wasn’t the best at giving advice, but he hoped that he could get through to Mark at least a little.

Clearly unsure as to how to respond, Mark just nodded and gave him a soft smile.

"And when you do end up wring a book, I want a signed copy! For monetary purposes, of course, you’ll most likely be very popular." At that, they both burst into giggles.

"Promise?" Donghyuck asked, standing up and offering a hand to Mark to help pull him up as well.

Mark grabbed back on to his hand to stand up and shook it. "Promise. That is if you promise to make it to college one day."

Donghyuck sighed, yet a smile still found its way onto his lips. "Okay, I promise too."

The walk back to town was a quiet one. It was dusk now, the sun fully hidden beneath the horizon. Mark had offered to walk Donghyuck home, and he couldn’t say no to Mark’s puppy dog eyes. Donghyuck was convinced that Mark didn’t even realize when he did it, which just made him even more adorable.

"This is me," Donghyuck said, gesturing toward the quaint house in front of them.

Just as Donghyuck was about to walk in, Mark grabbed his hand pulling him back. There was something similar to worry painted across Mark’s face.

"Is everything okay?"

A smile was pressed on Mark’s face, clearly trying to hide away whatever emotion he had accidentally let show beforehand.

"It’s just… Happy birthday, Donghyuck."

"You never call me that…"

Worry sat in Donghyuck’s chest as they stood there in silence for a while. Neither knowing what to do or say until Mark lent in close invading Donghyuck’s space. He felt Mark’s hands looping around his waist and Mark’s lips incredibly close to his ear. His eyes fluttered shut as Mark started speaking.

"I- I…. I know." Regret lingered in his voice, and Donghyuck was certain it wasn’t because he had used his full name.

Mark’s head fell on Donghyuck’s shoulder as he squeezed him tight. His hands came up to embrace Mark in return.

"Whatever it is you can tell me," Donghyuck whispered, words catching in his throat.

Mark sighed and slowly broke the embrace. The same forced smile from before finding a place on his face once again.

"Goodbye Hyuckie."

***

Donghyuck’s worst fear quickly became a reality.

He had a feeling something was wrong ever since his birthday.

That day just happened to be the last day he ever saw Mark Lee.

He knew as soon as Mark did not come into the bookstore the next Tuesday. But deep down he had known since Mark had left his front porch the week before.

He had no way of contacting Mark, not a phone number or an email, not even his address. His first instinct was to search Mark up online, he had his full name, or so he thought. There was absolutely nothing. Or at least not a 19-year-old Mark Lee who lived in his general vicinity.

It was almost as though Mark had been a ghost. Walking into Donghyuck’s life one day and then disappearing without a trace.

Donghyuck was angry at first. Why hadn’t Mark told him he was leaving. Why hadn’t he given him anyway to contact him. Was this person who he really thought he was. Donghyuck knew practically nothing about Mark, and yet he had the audacity to take away the best thing that had ever made a home in Donghyuck’s life. Even books weren’t an escape anymore. Every time he held one, he thought of Mark. Every time he walked into Arlo’s he thought of Mark. He was sick of feeling the pain brought on by his memories, but nothing was an escape.

Luckily his anger didn’t last long, but what it brought in its wake was possibly worse.

All of a sudden Donghyuck had felt even more alone in the world then he had ever been before. He spent the majority of his nights falling asleep to tear-stained cheeks, dreaming of Mark only to wake up feeling worse than he had the night before.

There was no one there to comfort him, and there would never be.

Once his tears had dried up, and he was certain he physically could never cry again, he threw himself into books, finally finding solace in the distraction they now again presented. He was sure he had never read that much in his entire life during that time.

But with everything, he moved on from that too.

He had spent the last two months grieving over the loss of someone who was still alive when he decided that he too needed to start living.

He came to terms with how Mark left. While it did hurt Donghyuck, he realized that no matter how he would have gone about it Donghyuck would have been hurt. At least this way Mark didn’t have to see the hurt he caused, and maybe that he had a reason for leaving the way he did. Maybe Donghyuck had been making up things to comfort himself, but it was better than living with the idea that Mark wanted to intentionally hurt him.

He had also gotten sickly skinny. Something that only reminded him of the hurt he had experienced. So, he vowed to put back on some weight, and maybe some extra. He always thought he looked the cutest with a fuller face.

His last goal was to work on saving for college. He made a promise to Mark to try even if it still amounted to nothing.

There was still bad days and he could never shake the pain feeling alone brought. But he had walked out of the hurt to finally see some light in his future, which was something he hadn’t seen in quite some time.

***

The seasons passed once again, and with time the memories of Mark became less painful. But it was his birthday, exactly a year of his life had gone by without Mark, and he couldn’t help the sadness that crept its way into Donghyuck’s chest that morning.

The day passed like any other until a package arrived. Donghyuck was used to receiving random book orders that Mr. Kim would make for the bookstore on occasion, but this package was addressed to him.

Donghyuck quickly ripped open the package. He noticed that it was a book even before he got the thing open. Curious to who it was from he opened up the front cover expecting a note, but instead he found the book had been signed. His fingers traced over the ink as he read the title. ‘Every Tuesday Evening, by Minhyung Lee.’ Donghyuck felt his heart racing through his chest. It was a personal narrative.

Donghyuck quickly flipped to the first chapter and started to read. He wasn’t even two sentences in when he slammed the book shut.

He knew what this was. And he wasn’t sure if he would be able to read it.

For three days the book sat in his bag until he found the courage to actually open it again.

It was late. Way too late to start a book he knew he wouldn’t be able to put down until he finished it. But he was nervous about what lay in the book that was quietly sitting on his nightstand. He reached over, curiosity finally getting the best of him, and pulled it open once again to the first chapter. This time, he read further than the first few sentences.

The story was about a boy whose parents had died when he was young, so he lived with his grandmother throughout his childhood. She was quite overprotective, already losing her daughter at such a young age, so she homeschooled the boy, scared of something happening to him if he was sent out into the real world. The only time he stepped foot outside the house was when she sent him out for errands, as she had been bedridden quite early in the boy’s life. Going to the local bookstore was his only true reprieve from the house. His grandmother let him go because he always came back with books for them to read together. Worried that the place would shut down the boy always made sure to donate his books back to the shop and always paid for the books he bought. As his grandma had enough money to last them three lifetimes. One day a new boy started working at the bookshop, and slowly the boy fell in love. But one day his grandmother fell deathly sick, and he had no longer a reason to stay in the small town, as now he was alone in the world. Believing the boy he loved felt nowhere near the same, he left.

Donghyuck’s hands were shaking and tears were streaming down his face. It was well into the early hours of the morning when he finished the book, light trickling in through his thin curtains.

Mark loved him. But he was blinded by his own loneliness, assuming no one could love him back. So that’s why he left without a word.

Anger bubbled up in Donghyuck’s chest. How could Mark be so dumb? Couldn’t he see how much he meant to him? A strangled sob made its way out of Donghyuck as he chucked the book across the room. Mark left him all alone, just because he thought he didn’t feel the same.

As the book hit the wall Donghyuck noticed a piece of paper fall out and slide across the floor in the opposite direction. With tears still streaming down his face, Donghyuck walked over and picked the paper up. It took him a moment to realize what exactly he was looking at but when he figured it out, he broke down in sobs once again.

It was a check.

Once he caught his breath, Donghyuck reached down and picked up the book he had just discarded in order to find anything that might explain why there was money, a good amount at that, made out to Donghyuck within the book.

He ran his thumb across the pages, quickly flipping through the book. After finding nothing from that, he began to inspect the book, looking over the spine and throughout the first few and last few pages he hadn’t actually read. And then he turned to the acknowledgments page.

_To him,_

_I kept my promise. Now it’s your turn._

Donghyuck pressed the open book to his chest. He felt like he couldn’t breathe he was crying so hard. Bent over, clutching Mark’s book, tears fell for what felt like an eternity.

***

Donghyuck ended up calling the publishing company that the check was from after he received another one about a month after the first. He hadn’t cashed the check, guilt about taking Mark’s money not letting him. They told him that in Mark’s contract, he stated that the first four years’ worth of royalties would go to him. To which Donghyuck thought was incredibly stupid. How could he just take Mark’s hard-earned money from him? When he said he wanted the book for monetary purposes, this was not what he meant.

The kind women over the phone informed him that there was nothing he could do, as this was all up to Mark’s discretion, and that he didn’t necessarily have to cash the checks, but that wouldn’t mean they would stop coming. She did reassure him that Mark had been paid when he gave the publishing company the rights to publish the book, so technically it wasn’t like he had gotten nothing from the book.

That made him feel a bit better, but he was still struggling with the idea of doing something like this.

But the promise he made rang in he ears.

***

It was autumn of Donghyuck’s 23rd year. He had just started his new job at the high school a few miles away from his old university.

Occasionally, when he would visit home he would stop by Arlo’s, just to make sure the doors were still open. And they were. This time a new young kid sat over the counter. Donghyuck was convinced that the old man would die, but still manage to somehow keep that place open from beyond the grave.

He ended up making a separate bank account just for Mark’s money, vowing only to take out of it when he really needed to and to someday pay Mark back in full.

Surprisingly, he worked very hard during his time in college and really didn’t use up much of the money Mark had given him. Yet, he was still extremely grateful for it when he did need it.

Donghyuck was sitting on the bus, on his way home from work, when he found himself thinking back on what got him there. Donghyuck sighed, taking out his phone to check up on the news, wasting time before his stop. And that’s when he saw something on his phone that made his stomach drop and his throat dry up.

Lee Minhyung’s next stop on his book tour was the university he had recently graduated from, the one he could walk to from his apartment.

He felt his heart rate increase before a calm rushed over him.

He went home that night and pulled out an old book from his desk, slipping a check inside.

***

He hadn’t seen Mark in over five years, yet there he was, just a few people ahead of him in line. He looked older, not necessarily different though. His hair was lighter now, clearly dyed this time, it lay effortlessly brushed across his forehead, the longest Donghyuck had ever seen it. He had glasses on, but not the same worn ones Donghyuck knew, these were round and situated low on his nose, but beautifully added to his atmosphere.

He was busy, so he thankfully hadn’t noticed Donghyuck yet. His nerves were already bubbling over, so to say he was glad at this fact was an understatement. The line was moving too fast, and Donghyuck felt himself start to panic as he was standing in front of Mark now, much too late to turn back.

It felt weird for Mark to be the one behind the counter, heart flooding with nostalgia as he remembered all of the times this situation was flipped.

With shaky hands Donghyuck handed Mark the book, he hadn’t recognized him yet, eyes still connected to the person who was before Donghyuck, their conversation lingering on as the young girl left. Mark’s eyes wandered down to the new book recently handed to him first, as he opened the book in order to sign it.

But his hand stopped, a greeting caught in his throat. Frozen by the image he was seeing. This book had already been signed. It was like he couldn’t bear to look up, too afraid that the person he was hoping to be standing in front of him wasn’t there.

"Mark?" It was barely above a whisper, not trusting his voice as tears were already finding their way into his eyes.

Mark’s head snapped up then, knowing no one else on the face of the earth knew him by that name anymore.

A wave of emotions crossed Mark’s face as he finally looked into Donghyuck’s eyes once again.

Donghyuck let out a small laugh, releasing the pent-up emotions that were screaming to come out as tears finally trickled down his face.

No words were exchanged, instead, looks of relief were shared as if that’s all they needed to say.

But eventually, Mark said something that was clear he had been wishing to say for a very long time.

"It’s been a while, Donghyuck-ah."

**Author's Note:**

> This may be one of my favorite things I have ever written so far. And that’s saying a lot seeing that I freaking hate open-ended stories, but it felt right for this fic what can I say! Perhaps I’ll write a second part someday???
> 
> [Fun fact: The first 2 lines of the summary were from a completely different markhyuck fic I started writing but ended up trashing it 1000 words in. The only thing I liked about those 1000 words were those two sentences, so I just made another whole fic based off them.]
> 
> ~All I want to do is talk about this fic all day so please feel free to leave a comment (or questions!!) on here or on my [Curious Cat](https://t.co/xn37RNlOEl) ~
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kennaloveskpop?lang=en)


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